Let go, let go and jump in

Letting Go:

It's something most of us will do often in our lifetime. So why is it so damn hard? I've had to let go heaps of times. To friends, houses, memories, schools, states, jobs, you name it. So why doesn't it get any easier? Surely some where between the 9 moves, 8 school changes and multiple years in a long distance relationship I may have learned SOMETHING. Whatever happened to the saying practice makes perfect? How long do I have to practice for!!

I guess to break it down the hardest part this time circulates are the word Goodbye. I hate this word and all it's variations. Auf Wiedersehen, Sayonara, Au revoir, Dasvidania, Arrivederci. Some doomed meaning all around. They all basically say "hey, thanks for the memories. I won't see you later. Goodbye"

Leaving home was much easier than leaving Cairns. When we left home all of our lovely friends and family from all over came to wish us off, it was quite the party from what I remember :] I never had to say goodbye to these people. I knew I would see them again. Leaving Cairns on the other hand.. I may never make it back here to this magical place. I probably won't see anyone that I have met here ever again - Except my favorite english girl Abbie, since she is traveling with us. I'm thankful for the memories; but the realization that it's all just become a memory, a small bleep of an existence in the illusion of time, makes my heart sink and my breath shorten. So many things left un done, so many words left un said. And oh so many people I would love to cramp in to my already excessively over sized luggage parade.

Still, my question is, how do we allow ourselves to keep on keeping on? Not just with travel but with life, with our relationships, our possessions, our journey.

Here is a quick few things I have learned in this moment, for this particular sitation, about letting go.

1. Cry. For me, holding it back only makes it worse. If sadness comes, I must express it as it comes or I just end up being a hot mess for the poor soul sitting next to me on the airplane.. Except that one time I met a pro skateboarder on the plane while I was bursting tears. He asked me if I was okay, great ice breaker ;) Anyways I'm exceedingly thankful for Marley at this point. It's nice to have someone who understands. Someone I can be a hot mess next to on the plane - and not be at all ashamed or embarassed.

2. Acceptance. Definitely easier said than done. Once I've given myself a few minutes - okay sometimes days - to dwell on the memories and what I'll miss, I accept. Accept the change, and push away the regret and worry as I slowly crawl back towards my baseline of emotions. The place I can feel balanced and stable again.

3. Glad Wrap. Wait whaaat? Glad wrap, wtf? Yes, glad wrap. You know, that annoying clear stuff that literally CLINGS to everything but your leftovers. - My brain is a bit fuzzy from the elevation of the plane and the drying of my tears so bear with me here as I try to relate this- It's the clinging that presents one of the biggest barriers for me. Refusing to accept, clinging on the memories that I don't want to die. In reality though, they never die, they are constantly a part of us and those who we shared them with. The universe has recorded these memories, and tehy are still in the present, some where - Assuming my white knuckle grip doesn't suffocate them first. It's a soothing reminder that my past is there for me when I need it, always.

4. Live in the moment. I'm beginning to think this may be the secret to life since it seems to solve so many of my issues. But in it's relation to 'letting go' it seems pretty self explanitory. Surfacing myself back to the now, I begin to remember the excitement this entire trip with holds! When it is time to move on it's time to move on. Stop glad wrapping for now, there will be something that clings on again as these moments in time progress. ( Like surfing!! ) Then we can rinse and repeat this whole process, yay! ..........

5. Melodic Healing. Biggest crutch for me is music. It has the ability to strengthen and hinder with one simple familiar melody. I realized while sitting here typing that my music was terribly slow and perhaps a little depressing. It kept my mind trapped babysitting my memories, make sure they are all still there and doing okay. So instead I decided to change the pace a little bit and handed Marley one of my headphones. Aaaaand just like that Another Night by Real Mccoy was blasting through my speakers. I dare you to try and be sad to that song! Hah! After 3:56 of everyone on the plane looking at us while we reenact Night at the Roxbury whilst singing with no regard to our tune or volume ((I'll spare you that video footage)), our moods have shifted, our spirits rise and well, the adventure continues.

Letting go isn't a destructive process nor is it about getting rid of or throwing away something. I'm merely just letting it rest where it belongs. Taking it for what it was, leaving it how it is. Opening space for all the new energy coming my way. In about an hour we will be in Brisbane. A new chapter started in a book that will forever exist' in us, in the universe....and apparently on the world wide web as well.